Homer Becomes A Weight Watcher
by Awb
Summary: Bart gets his Dad started on a diet frenzy. What will become of Homer?


Homer Becomes A Weight Watcher  
  
Hello there! I don't own any of these characters. They aren't mine. Thank  
you! I made up Steve though.  
  
Homer just woke and was about to weigh himself as usual, when something hit him. It was an idea, and the idea made him scared.  
"Marge! Marge!" Homer screamed as he ran into their bedroom from the bathroom.  
"What Homey?" Marge asked half awake.  
"I'M FAT! I'M FATTER THAN FAT! I'M A FAT PIECE OF FAT!" Homer hollered and he ran around the bedroom.  
"Oh Homey. Why in the world are you saying that now? You've been this weight for a very long time now. You seem to be doing just fine." Marge said as she tried to stay awake.  
"I don't know what hit me! It was as if my fat was staring me in the eye," Homer began as he pointed at his eye, which eventually, he did poke his eye, "and said, 'You big piece of lard! Stop being so fat!' I'm scared Marge! What are those things called that help you lose fat?! Ooo! I NEED one!" Homer asked biting his nails nervously as he sat in the corner.  
"Diets? Yeah, why don't you start one of those? That'd be good for you. Start right now and go down to the gym." Marge suggested.  
"Good idea!" Homer stood up and put on gym clothes.  
"I didn't know you still had those." Marge said with one eye opened.  
"Oh, I wear these when I eat hot wings." Homer explained.  
Homer left the house to go down to the gym. While he was there, Bart was laughing behind the shower curtain in the bathroom.  
"This is going to be great." Bart laughed.  
  
"Hello. I'm fat and don't want to be." Homer told the front desk of the Springfield Gym.  
"Ah, yes. Well. How fast do you want to lose this weight? And how much?" The clerk asked.  
"I want to lose a lot and very quickly." Homer answered, looking around.  
"Well.I see.let me get a trainer for you." She replied as she left. Homer walked toward a treadmill and started running. By the time the clerk and the trainer got back, Homer ran .10 yards.  
"God Homer, how much did you run?" The trainer asked.  
"Too.much." Homer answered in between deep breaths.  
"Well, let me look at the mileage counter." The trainer went over and read it.  
"Wow! One tenth of a yard." The trainer trailed off and looked at the fat man gasping for air on the floor.  
"I'm Steve, by the way." The trainer said.  
"He..ll.o.St.St..Stee.Steve." Homer struggled.  
"Why don't you come with me and we can make a plan of your diet and exercise?" Steve suggested.  
Homer went with him and they sat down to make a diet and exercise plan.  
"So Homer, are you involved in any sports or other activities?" Steve asked.  
"I go to work." Homer replied. "How silly of me to ask. Well, we have many programs. We have fat gainers, weight watchers and slim slow." Steve listed. "Weight watchers.do they like watch their weight?" Homer questioned. "Yes, they do! How clever of you to notice that!" Steve said sarcastically. "Well, I do have a knack for that type of thing." Homer blushed. "Come tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. and I'll get you started." Steve instructed. "I have work tomorrow." Homer said as Steve pushed him out the door. "Remember, health first!" Steve said as he shut the door.  
  
Homer came home and told his family about his weight-watching plan. "Dad, why can't you go after work? Why do you have to miss it?" Lisa questioned. "Because Steve said so." Homer replied. "Well, at least you're doing something about it." Marge complemented. "That's right. Pretty soon, you'll see a brand new Homer J. Simpson!" Homer announced. "I'll alert the media when that happens." Bart said laughing. "Why you little-" Homer started to strangle Bart.  
  
=-= The next day at 10:00 A.M. =-=  
  
"Hello Steve!" Homer greeted his trainer. "Why hello there!" Steve replied, walking up to him. "So, what do I do today?" Homer asked enthusiastically. "I say you run 1 mile." Steve instructed. "Ok." Homer hopped on the nearest treadmill. "Now Homer, I don't want you to stop! If you stop, you'll get fatter!" Steve said with a slight smile. "Gottcha." Homer said as he started the fast pace.  
  
=-= .15 mile later =-=  
  
"Mustn't stop.mustn't gain fat." Homer struggled to encourage himself. "So Homer, how are we coming along?" Steve asked as he peered down at the mileage counter. "Well, better than yesterday." "I.I'm..go..go.na.da..die." Homer gasped. "No you won't! Trust me, you'll fall over before you even reach one mile. Don't worry." Steve said laughing. Homer, maddened and frightened, convinced himself to go the extra .10 mile.  
  
"I did it! I did it! I ran one quarter of a mile! I'm burnin' down the fat! Yow!" Homer yelled as he danced through out the gym. "Homer! Amazing! ¼ mile! I really think you've outdone yourself on this one!" "Why thank you 'person who didn't believe in me'." Homer smiled. "Well, you didn't run 1 mile. You only ran 1 fourth of it." Steve smirked. "Oh." Homer said as he ran out of the gym.  
  
=-= Homer arrives at home =-=  
  
"Hey Homey, how was your first day on the diet?" Marge asked. "Terrible! I can't even run a mile!" Homer sobbed. "Oh, that's ok! Not everyone can be an Olympic runner." Marge comforted. "I guess fat is just my 'thing'." Homer cried. "I'm cooking hot-wings tonight!" Marge said, trying to cheer him up. "Ooo! Yeah! I can wear my gym outfit!" Homer said.  
  
The End 


End file.
